Freshly Gewd

 

Life (not so) Update

Hello? anybody here? I still write routinely but all the posts end up "save as draft" for these couple years. hundreds of memories and stories I delayed to share in this platform. life's good sometimes, terrible many times. I failed to complete my ed on time, failed to build and develop my career in early to mid 20s. failed to participate in volunteer or any beneficial activities to improve myself as a human being. failed to grow my sense of creativity which my passion. failed to make people around me proud of my achievements. I hope my future is not tremendously awful as in the past.

Hold on

knew something but I remain silent

Flowersss!

Some of you may know that I do not like flowers because it has the right to live as a plant not to be picked. but the thing is I sent flowers to friends several times and I found myself interested in knowing a little more about flowers. the first three are my favorite. I'll tell you later why the title of this post should be like that.

Would You?

indeed you do not need to bring about what you have given to a person. BUT sometimes you have to, when THAT person does not understand and appreciate back. for what? for slapped his face. with all things you have sacrificed for him. be grateful to those who love each other, not only one side. fully understand and treat you very special because you are the one for him as a loving partner.

this is someone who stand next to you from the beginning when you were fragile, been there in every process of your life between teens to mature.. would you take her to the top of your palace?

Is The Fault in Me?

they have pretty face, I am not.
they wear clothes that makes catchy-look in public, I just wear my only few clothes again and again.

they live in a 'royal fam', I live in provide-enough-what I need-fam.
they have graduated, I have not.
they are dating someone with the same major they take in college, we have different major.

they may looks good in face, but I have bigger heart than theirs.
they may dress like a princess, but I wear any clothes that fit me.

they may have a car so when go out in sunny or rainy day your skin wont get burn or your shoes wont get wet, but I can only wait for people who come late for hours trying hard to understand the reason behind.
they may get perfect scores in school, but I am not worse.
they may study with the same subject, we can do the same like them but with different case we still help each other in which we got another knowledge.

does not mean I am not trying to do face and skin treatments, physically I am not look pretty as them but at least I want have healthy skin without injections or other instant way.

does not mean I want to look bad, I just do not know how to style to attract people.

does not mean I can not give my best, maybe I often complaining but also I try to accepted.

does not mean I was a fool, I do really want to earn money by working in a great company where I surrounding by an environment that appreciate my passion.

does not always about have the same major, it is how to treat each other well and who is always there for you not only in good times but also in hard times.

Hi, There..

I never thought this day would come. after so many heartbreaking-things I went through by myself. I refused to fall, I told myself not to drop the tears. I do not know what do you want and your reason behind why you come back here..

I'm still here, always, in the place where I was, the one that accept you for who you are and was. as one package, not only about good ones, but also horrible and teribble acts and words..

What's in our journey is just like a million stars in the nitey sky, it's countless. I do not know how I count our feeling to each other. whether growing or something more than that. *try to keep my mind to stay positive *quite difficult than you think

@laparyamakan.id

Hello everyone! seems like no one take care this page :))
I made an account to share where place to go and what good to eat yeayyy.. go check out right now @laparyamakan.id
mostly, I uploaded Indonesian food because I live here. I loveee to eat. who doesn't like to eat? I'm doing culinary tour with my partner. we are happy every time we find delicious food and can not wait to share it to you. if you have any suggestions of cozy place and what kind of food to eat, let me know. I would like to try! don't forget to follow us for more info about the most recommended food.

Has Not Change At All

Now you know how BIG this heart is to always forgive and try to forget all of the mistakes.

Still Remaining

I'm ready to pick up my phone if you call me at nite. the best time conversation comes in the middle of the night. we livin' in the same town. could you please tell me how to be away from all about you? I go there, go here, go everywhere i can not even forget every places that used to be our favorite places whether it place to eat, to play, to watch, to shop or whatever

sing along while on our way to go to somewhere

we laughed, we made funny jokes, we shared anything, we looked at each other

there were so much things that we made together and we did together

everything what we do, we do it together

good and bad

may joy replaces tears, laugh replaces anger, strength replaces weakness

I would like to see you whenever in a good place

like you've said, it's been a long time since we didn't talk each other

I would like to sing our fav song with my terrible voice and your sweet voice and you play a guitar in between. I bet it would be perf collabs! ha? what was that? :))

like you ever said, you miss singing with me

I hope you eat well

7051 miles

Netherlands has Amsterdam as capital city. Amsterdam has an icon, it is a windmill. I wanna go there since I had a dream following a student exchange program. wear a klederdracht and take a lot of pictures. while looking around, edam cheese which melt on my bread and a glass of milk I hold in my hand. spring is the best time seeing tulips at keukenhof also the pride icon, windmill. I'm not alone in this trip because there will be you. you're my netherlands to my windmill.

Now Playing : Gorillaz - Feel Good

Hi, Blog!

I have so much thoughts that I want to share here. again and over again I will say, Hi long time no see! it's been a while I didn't share any post. I was like these past 6 years of blogging had precious things that I can think about. of course, I learned a lot from every my following's post. whoops, I have to go. hope you always happy! your smile can make other people get jealous because you're amazing.

A Story of Life

what proves can show that he loves her so much? a couple years of loyalty? a lot of best memories that they both went through? how about something bad that will happen? like after she told him about her mother's health condition, which is related to her future health, will he still love her so much?

----------she feels like breathing but the bloodstream does not flow in her whole body. her mind's so messed up right now. this kind of punishment from God to her. all prayers she can asked for, are only her mother. it's not simple as she thought to act like nothing happen or just let the problem go away. at the same time, she needs support and encouragement for covering all the sadness and tears.----------

will he still protect her? will he just ignore her weakness and give her a warm hug? sometimes she believes that he will always love her like he always said before. sometimes she has tons of questions. as a couple generally, should encourage each other for any ups and downs. he reminded her to always live healthy. but will he take her to be his partner for the rest of his life? so they can live a healthy life together.

----------tree house in the backyard surrounded by big trees. summer would be fun. he read a fairy tale to their sweet love, while she baking an apple pie and bring fresh orange juice from the big fridge. spending time together in the afternoon and talking about what happened over the past week. sharing laughter with a hug.----------

Laughing at Myself

I write word by word into a sentence and a paragraph. I write entire feelings of mine. this is me who truly love you. really I am not sad at all or kinda bad feeling right now. if someday I'm not getting married, don't ask me why. like you've ever said to me, "no need to looking for, just waiting". and now, I'm still waiting you. if someday you leave me and find a new one, the question is answered.

Thanky thanks

I cant thank you enough to my man. he always helping me ANYTIME.

Never Too Old for Fav Song

Shania Twain - You're Still The One

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday 

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong 

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night 

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin' 

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong 

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night 

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

NOM NOM NOM

EAT FOOD EAT FOOD EAT FOOD HAPPY PARTNER! YEAY! aku dan threeki suka banget kuliner. kami udah nyobain makan makanan dari berbagai tempat di kota kami. mulai dari jajanan kecil pinggir jalan atau di pasar malam, makanan 'kantong' mahasiswa, tempat makan yang lumayan punya 'nama' (sebut aja semiresto hihihi), pokoknya banyak deh. tapi kayaknya kami ga pernah makan di cafe deh, soalnya kami ga terlalu suka ke tempat yang banyak anak nongkrong lagi pada nongski hahay.

acara malam minggu kami berwarna warni. karena ga cuma sekedar jalan ke mall, nonton, makan, blablabla gitu terus sampe berbulan bulan. simple aja, kadang pergi ke pasar malam cuma mau beli pentol ngebor, goreng, rebus, bakar dan beli es teh sebagai minumannya, bair ga seret bro hehehe. gimana? seru kan? seriously, that was fun! you have to try it with your partner or your friend. go to pasar malam enjoying saturday night with pentol dan es. iya, kami suka jajanan kecil jaman SD. bisa ngabisin berapa belas ribu buat jajan doang hehe but we're happy. peka banget deh dengar suara bel paklek pentol dari kejauhan dan kami udah siap beli.

Ice cream! paling ga tahan sama godaan es krim. kalo aku lagi ngambek, ditawarin es krim yah kadang luluh juga deh ahahaha. ke mall cuma mau beli es krim dan numpang duduk yang ga cuma sebentar doang tapi lama karena kami terlalu asik ngobrol. kami kalo ngobrol apa aja jadi bahan pembicaraan kami. mulai dari selalu ngebahas boneka ayam dan strawberry kesayangan kami, sampai orang orang yang duduk di dekat kami udah ganti orang hihihi. es krim favorit kami adalah rasa karamel! ew, jadi pengen huhu. biasanya sih aku beli waffle, threeki beli es krim. terus kami makan waffle di cocol es krim.

itu tadi beberapa jajanan kecil dan makanan ringan yang jadi andalan kami berdua. masih banyak sih, kayak kentang putar, kentang goreng yang selalu kami umpetin diam diam di tas waktu ke bioskop, crepes, cimol, jajanan franchise dan lain lain dan kawan kawan dan sebagainya. kalo makanan utama, paling sering sih ya apalagi kalo bukan ayam lagi, ayam lagi, ayam lagi, lagi lagi ayam. beda di olahan doang. ayam goreng, ayam tepung, ayam bakar, ayam penyet, ayam gepuk sampai ayam keju. kalo bakso, batagor, siomay, tahu tek tek, mie pangsit itu termasuk makanan ga terlalu utama hahahaha karena kami bisa makan lagi sehabis itu. oh iya! kami langsung mupeng makan banget kalo udah nyium harum nasi goreng yang lagi di racik sama penjualnya kalo kami lewat di depan warung tenda gitu. duuuhhh, tergoda banget. nasi goreng yang paling enak menurut aku sih di dekat rumah teman aku. kami rela jauh jauh kesana demi perut diisi nasi goreng disitu.

air bumbu, gurih, asapnya masih mengepul, yup makanan berkuah. coto makassar masuk di daftar makanan utama. porsinya emang ngenyangin karena di makan bareng ketupat. tahu campur juga seger loh apalagi dimakan pedas wuihhh enak parah deh. shabu shabu jadi makanan yang masuk di waiting list kami hahaha dan akhirnya kesampean juga hihi. karena di kota kami makanan daerah banyak tersebar dipenjuru tempat, yang tadinya makanan untuk sarapan sampai ada di jual waktu malam loh. contohnya nasi kuning dan lontong sayur. kami jarang bisa sarapan bareng, untungnya malam hari ada yang jual makanan itu. lontong sayur ternyata tetap enak kok kalo di makan malam hari hehe.

makanan lain beserta ceritanya buanyak banget kalo dituangin ke post box ini. kenapa aku milih ngebahas tentang makanan? aku paling susah nahan lapar. apalagi ngemil. kesel sendiri kalo harus ngebayangin makanan tapi ga kesampean. aku mau bahas ini juga karena makanan adalah salah satu perjalanan aku dan threeki. makanya kami usahakan datang deh kalo ada kondangan hihi apalagi threeki doyan banget sama kambing guling, rela nagntri panjang deh. kalo aku ga mau melewatkan soto banjar. dan...kami ga bakal menyia nyiakan es krim yang udah disediakan hahaha. we are having so much fun with our culinary tour. one of my fav part with threeki.

happyyy!

Na'nite

Mkayyy, I am waiting for nothing. then, I decide to get some sleep after this before I wake up in early morning. and once again I let my post go into the draft... why?? as usual not finding my mood booster and a lot of ideas were gone just like the wind blowing. good night so you can sleep good...or well.

Eyes Never Lie

find out who I am through my eyes. see how tired I am how hard life I've been through. facing and holding problem that'll always come every time. no matter what happen I have to deal with it as long as my eyes open and as long as I breathe. maybe I complain too much or I'm the most loser on earth. here, I still asking to myself who am I? why am I like this? feeling tired and sad more often ain't because I'm weak, I just need more strength and support from...the closest ones or anyone or stranger. I open my mind and realize I'll never handle either bitter or a sweetness of life by myself. I can be the most cheerful person all day long and act like nothing happen but deep down inside this heart is so fragile. I lost my confidence since I wrecked. not brave enough to speak out. I talk to blame people, judge them, I really want to hate hate hate them all because they treat me bad like I'm the baddest. when they treat me well it just in front of my face. I want to ignore what they say about myself behind me but sometimes anything they say about the bad side from myself is a big 'warning'. I mean I have to reform to be a better person also change the bad habbit from myself, more nicer to anyone, eliminate hatred even nobody like me. I know it ain't easy. I often write post like this on some post before. word by word almost the same and repeated. I think where the problem came is inside of me. I myself, who think none of them care about what I feel what I mean what I want what I need. look, I'm here just like my own bread without flavor. tasteless. people just want to eat a bread with honey and peanut butter right beside a cup of hot tea, breakfast menu that people always wait in the morning. mine? my honey and peanut butter are expired. no one touch them. so, do I look never be happy? sit down here with me and I'd be happy then.

What's Next?

You may agree with me if someone/something bothering and do annoying/bad things to you. surely you choose to leave it behind so you dont need to put it in your mind and wasting your time to think of it all. moreover if someone broke your heart into a million pieces and s/he cant fix into one piece just like before. what do you expect? forgive them? yup, you should. forget about what they did to you? can you? I'm not. how about give them second chance? well, big no, but last chance. wait wait, sure? are you sure that they wont do the same like in the past? actually, back to her/himself how they make you believe them like the first time. 

to put trust in people such a hard thing especially for me. once I trust you, I really do. once you ruin it, I'll be a really really really hard stone to you. I think the best effort to make me feel better is letting me go, so you can make a better life and will get another happiness with someone else. dont be like you have no one. I dont know why is sooo hard to make my self just be positive thinking. is this called disappointed-deepest level?